Excerpt from a post “Colder Weather” (Sept 2013)
Summer is the extrovert in all of us. It forces us to go outside, to participate in social activities. We leave our homes for vacation and we spend less time doing things in solitude. Whereas fall is the introvert in all of us. When the cool air replaces the humidity, we feel a need to draw inward–to reflect, to listen to the sound of crunching leaves underfoot instead of talking incessantly. We begin to spend more time indoors, and with that, more time alone, in general.
I’ve always loved fall. I become excited when it arrives, feeling the release of summer’s high demands, and I look forward to solitary walks in the woods with the crumpled, dried leaves. This year, however, the slow integration of autumn feels more like a persistent chore that is continually ignored but won’t get done until it’s recognized. I want to stay in summer longer. Autumn has always represented renewal and and a sense of feeling alive for me over the years. However, I think that’s starting to change.
I both lost and found myself last summer. I also both lost and found love. I lost a best friend and made a 100 new ones. I lost a lot of weight and then gained it all back. My house became bare and I, little by little, put it back together and filled it with new things and memories. I let go of anger and resentment and found deep and necessary sadness.
Summer showed me a lot.